


i don’t mind if you find someone better than me

by alexei_venice, jxssy



Series: i know it's just a phase (you're not in love with me) [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I'm Sorry, M/M, Pain, i cried
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-13
Updated: 2021-01-06
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:54:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27479143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alexei_venice/pseuds/alexei_venice, https://archiveofourown.org/users/jxssy/pseuds/jxssy
Summary: maybe losing you wasn’t so bad.
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Oikawa Tooru/Ushijima Wakatoshi, Tendou Satori/Ushijima Wakatoshi
Series: i know it's just a phase (you're not in love with me) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2012698
Kudos: 18





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hi :) we r working on multiple chapters so pls be patient :D i am writing oikawa’s pov and you can read iwa’s pov at alexei_venice ‘s page
> 
> ———  
> fic playlist:  
> spotify - https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0oQ867NjJHrq6IxyhNVI65?si=BhFrw3o0Qnq1DJw9cSW5HA  
> youtube - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_IHH2ibMjIQ&list=PLV5_eACZrOVVFf3XrqNMXOpQMVFwhN52v&index=1  
> soundcloud - https://soundcloud.com/user-98539307/sets/i-know-its-just-a-phase-youre (sorry if some of the songs arent accessible !!)

I always thought that Iwaizumi was the one, I mean, we always seemed to be perfect. But, I honestly don’t think I’m enough for Iwa. He always seems to be annoyed with me, I’m thinking, is this what he wanted?

I walked up to Iwa, “Hey, Iwa-chan?” As usual, he scoffed and ignored me.

“What?” He said, mockingly. Okay, now I knew that he was just playing around.

“What’re you up to?” I had to stop myself from telling him how I felt, how it felt like we’re falling apart. I nudged at his shoulder, awaiting his reply.

“Nothing, why do you care?” He said, turning around to look at me.

“Because I’m your boyfriend,” I smile and pinch his cheeks, “I’m the best!” I joked, maybe I did feel like I was the best boyfriend, or at least, that’s what I wanted to believe, but the voice kept on saying, “ _No you’re not. You’re the worst boyfriend. He doesn’t need you, Oikawa.”_

Iwaizumi grinned, “You’re so annoying,” taking my hands off of his cheeks, “I love you.”

My heart felt like it was being ripped apart and melting at the same time. Was this the right decision? Was this a smart move? Is this okay?

“I love you too,” that hurt. Why did that hurt to say, why? Why? “You’re my dumb little idiot!” I teased. Okay maybe I went too far.

I took a step forward to see Iwa’s face up close, “When did you get so pretty?” I love teasing him, “That’s not fair, I’m supposed to be the best looking!”

Iwa hugged me, “What’re you talking about? You’re the best looking, everyone wants to, but you’re mine so screw them!”

Wow. I didn’t expect that.

Maybe he is the one, I’ll believe he’s the one.

“Hey,” I’m spacing out, I’m spacing out, I can’t focus, “Oikawa?” What’s going on? What’s happening? “Oi, Flattykawa!”

I snapped.

“What? I thought I told you to stop calling me that, I thought I did. Why can’t you understand that I don’t like being called that?” I pushed him.

Oh.

I just did that.

Oh my god. I just did that.

“Wait I’m-” Iwa pushed me away, “I’m... sorry.”

I ran, I ran as quickly as I could, I felt like I was running after a ball that would’ve been the last chance we had to win. I ran after him as if my life depended on it.

“Iwaizumi please,” I coughed, why can’t I breathe right now? Why does it sound like I’m choking? “Please...” I fell.

Iwa turned around, “Oikawa?” He snickered, “Babe, you’re crying. I thought you couldn’t cry,” he kneeled down to hold me, I couldn’t help myself, I jumped into his arms.

“You’re such a baby,” he whispered, “let’s get you home, alright?”

I nodded, holding onto him, God, I needed him. I need him.

_We’ll be okay._

_At least, I think so. I hope so._


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "do you even love me?"

[Maybe breaking down at the train station wasn’t a good idea.]

I didn’t want to break down but I did. I broke down in front of him and I couldn’t process or think about anything I said and I-

“Do you even love me?”

I  fucked up. _ I fucked up so badly- why did I say that? Oh my god.. I… _

“Do you not believe me when I say I love you?  What do you want me to do so you can believe me?” It was obvious that he was in distress. Why am I like this?

“No I just- you’re so dumb .  _ I’m so dumb.”  _ Please how did I mess up so badly?

“ You’re not dumb, Oikawa, just an idiot sometimes. I love you, I promise.” It felt like he was hesitating, what if he didn’t?  W hat if he’s lying?

God, I wish these thoughts would just leave me alone, why can’t I trust him? I get that he always seems closed off, that’s just the type of person he is, right?

_ He’s lying, you dumb fuck. Don’t you get it?  _ **_ He doesn’t love you. _ **

My thoughts are racing, what’s going on?

I didn’t realize that I was still sobbing in his arms. I’ve been blocking him out this whole time, what is wrong with me? Why is this happening I don’t- 

“Toru.”

I froze, why did he call me by my name? That never happens, it’s always Oikawa or a dumb nickname. Did I do something wrong? What did I do?

“Toru, are you listening?” I looked up, god, I'm such a mess. He’s so beautiful and I look horrible. I can’t stop crying.

“Are you okay? Do you want me to leave you alone?” Did I do something wrong? Why is he asking if I want him to leave me alone?

I shook my head; I can’t even get a single word out. I’m pathetic. He should just leave, right? He should just-

_ Iwa hugged me. I felt so warm, I felt like everything was okay. Maybe I’ll start calming down now. _

_ “ _ Iwa- Hajime...” I paused, what do I even say to him? “I’m sorry.”

He wiped my tears and tried to wipe away any other tears that would decide to come down, I knew he wasn’t that great at expressing his feelings. Maybe this was out of his comfort zone.

Whatever it was, 

_ It was enough to make me love him a little more, even if it hurt _ _ s to love _

**Author's Note:**

> i am so sorry.


End file.
